Following my October 2015 album release, underachiever (and proud of it), I was feeling a bit burned out from music. I had released 4 albums in 5 years dating back to 2011 with hardly anything to show for it. Juggling so much musical output on top working full time took its mental toll for sure, but I was very satisfied and happy with my own personal successes. Rugrat is something I never want to give up, as it gives me an outlet not a lot of people have. I'm grateful for that and for the music I've grown so fond of. Hip hop and rap as an art form is truly an amazing form of expression and release of emotions. That in itself can be so powerful if used correctly. So many aspiring artists use it for fame and fortune, but I've always used it as a way to express myself in a way I was never able to do before. Yeah, I'd throw in a braggadocio track now and again, but that's embedded within the naturally competitive nature that is rap music. I love that and the freedom music brings, especially in hip hop.
I've gone through an incredible DIY musical journey over the years, from starting off with really just goofing off on my first album trying to recreate the 'nerdcore' sound I'd learned from artists such as MC Lars and mc chris to trying to get more personal and deep on successive projects but always trying to put my own spin on it (or add my own 'flavor', as MC Lars would say). I started off wanting to be like mc chris but found myself along the way. The deeper I got into my music, the more I grew as an artist. I really came full circle on album 4 when the artist I tried to emulate on album 1 agreed to do album 4's intro. That was something really special to me. Thank you, Chris.
But then somewhere along the line, maybe it was during the recording of underachiever or sometime soon after, I felt a strong mental burnout happening. I remember it wasn't until early 2016 when I even started thinking of the possibility of a new album. Then it hit me. I wasn't going to record and release another typical Rugrat album. It was going to be different. It was going to be new. It was going to be completely out of my comfort zone, and I was excited.
If you've ever listened to the Beastie Boys, you know that they are extremely experimental and outside the box. They pride themselves off that. My new inspiration came while listening to their 1994 album, Ill Communication. That album has everything from funky basslines to distorted beyond recognition vocals to the smoothest raps you've ever heard to blistering loud punk rock tracks. One song, Flute Loop, showcases them taking the sound of a simple flute and turning it into one of the most head-bobbingest hip hop beats you'll ever hear. It's nothing short of incredible, and for 2016 me, inspirational.
My thoughts quickly turned into brainstorms and my brainstorms quickly turned into plans to create. I hadn't been this excited to make music since I began recording for my second album, Ripped Open, but there was a problem. I really wanted to be the producer here. I really wanted this project to be completely created by me. I'd done research on producing equipment and software, but it never really got off the ground. I wanted to be able to loop sounds the way I heard the Beastie Boys loop on Flute Loop. It never happened, and to this day I don't know anything about music production. I also didn't want to be the only rapper on the project. I wanted to take more of a Dr. Dre approach and make beats for others and compile the dopest collection of songs so completely creative that no one else could have ever possibly made it but me.
The title of this project was going to be called Rugrat Presents: Waiting in the Buffet Line and it was going to be my first ever mixtape of over the top creative musical concoctions. It was going to feature a plethora of artists whom I've met over the years, and it was probably going to take a couple years to complete. I wanted to call it Waiting in the Buffet Line because when you're in line at a buffet there's always so many options of food to choose from. That's what this mixtape was going to be. An endless variety of sounds and artists and takes and perspectives and frankly the wildest collection of sound I could possibly come up with. And it was going to be dope as fuck. I even had the cover planned out. It was going to be in black and white, much like the Ill Communication cover, and it was going to be a picture taken at the pre-release party which was going to be at - you guessed it, a buffet somewhere. I was going to invite everyone who had ever supported me up to that time to come and enjoy a buffet with good company and get a then-coverless version of my new mixtape. I wanted to make shirts and have people wear them while in line at the buffet, and from behind, I was going to take the picture that was going to be mixtape's cover.
Unfortunately, life and depression got the better of me and plans for this mixtape fell through the cracks. Underachiever is still my most recent project to date, and Waiting in the Buffet Line will most likely only exist in this blog post. While I do have another project in the pipeline due out this year, I thought it would be a nice time for me to take out a few minutes to share this reflection of what could have been with whoever chooses to read this. I think sharing ideas and brainstorms with others is one of the most fun things to do, and I hope to not only reflect more on what could have been but also analyze things that do come to fruition in the future. Long live Waiting in the Buffet Line. Elements that were going to be on that mixtape aren't forgotten, and most likely will show up in future Rugrat releases.
Thanks so much for reading.
-j
